I can remember the exact moment I decided I wanted to become a writer.

After rereading S.E. Hinton’s book The Outsiders for the third or fourth time, I decided to try and tell my side of things so people wouldn’t judge people like me so harshly. I had read that S.E. Hinton wrote The Outsiders when she was a teenager, so I wanted to try and write a book and get published at a young age too.

Since then, I haven’t written a book at all. I’ve had a few poems and more than a few articles published, but I’m not famous and rich. In fact, I recently finished my first fantasy short story after overcoming a entire year of Imposter’s Syndrome.

At the age of twenty six, my writing career is just getting started. Although I’ve been happy with everything I’ve published so far, there have been times that I’ve been really jealous of other writers and their success. Earlier this year, I experienced an incident on social media that forced me to acknowledge and work through my jealously.

A few days after the New Year, a talented writer whose work I  follow and read from time to time posted about their recent publications with their social media followers. Filled with envy and feeling inferior about my own publications, I made a comment that was intended to be self-depreciating but ended up rudely putting down the writer.

Due to my ignorance, I didn’t know how crass my comment had been until the writer started to discuss how blunt I had been without directly mentioning me. Pride kept me from admitting my jealousy to the writer, but I did apologize to them.

After my apology, I still felt really guilty about my insensitive comment for months. One day, I decided to admit to myself about how jealous I had felt and tried to figure out how to deal with it better. Although I did an internet search about how to cope with writer’s jealousy, I couldn’t apply any advice I read about.

Months pass and I finally start writing my first fantasy short story after a year of Imposter’s Syndrome. The key to pushing through was a indie SFF magazine that featured a story that resonated with me. As luck would have it, the author of the story followed me on social media.

While working on my story, I found the Imposter’s Syndrome creeping back as I wondered if the characters I was writing about were good enough. Feeling overwhelmed, I asked the short story writer who inspired me for guidance.

Although I hadn’t expected the writer to reply, they ended up giving me some great advice and I was able to finish my story. After this experience, I realized the cause of my jealousy was being unconsciously taught to view other writers as competition.

I don’t think any particular person taught me to, but the glamorization of being a writer did. Some expect writers to be instant bestsellers, number one bestsellers that go on to have fame, fortune, and movie or tv deal to boot.

Meanwhile, some of the best books and stories I’ve read have been self-published or published by small presses. Since I’ve read indie books and submitted writing to indie magazines, I know that being a writer is really hard work and really lonely.

In fact, I believe that the loneliness of being a writer combined with the glamorization of what being a writer is what makes writing seem like competition. Unless you learn that other writers are not your enemy and that they can help you improve your craft, you’ll develop an ego that only cares about your own writing.

Since I was willing to change how I viewed other writers, my writing has changed for the better. I feel less lonely as a writer and I’m willing to cheer on other writers without comparing my success to theirs.

We are writers, but we are also humans that deserve to acknowledge and support each other. A writer alone is an island stuck on a sea of pages, but a writer with other writers can keep swimming along.